FT Alphaville readers, we give you warning: make sure you always pay your dues to JPMorgan. If you don’t, Jamie Dimon will hunt you down.
First though, he sends in the heavies for your children.
New York Cityfile (HT, TPM Muckraker) reports that one James Ricobene has filed a lawsuit against JPMorgan Chase for resorting to “dirty tactics to collect the collateral on a car loan” – a 2007 Mercedes GL450 SUV. JPM, alleges Ricobene, hired a “tracing firm” to come after him.
Nothing so unusual there, except, perhaps for the message that Universal Tracing Services Inc – the debt collector “tracing firm” – left on Mr Ricobene’s daughter’s MySpace wall (emphasis ours):
We have been retained by, JPMorgan Chase Bank, to locate and repossess their missing collateral a 2007 Mercedes GL 450. Please contact our office immediately so we can discuss the peaceful recovery of the collateral. Failure to contact me will result in further action against your father James Ricobene. Legal options range from having a replevin order served on you or even worse reporting the collateral as stolen to local authorities in Illinois under the A.R.S. act 18-5-504. Failure to comply with this notice of surrender is a class 5 felony and carries a maximum penalty of imprisonment for two years plus all applicable surcharges. You must contact the writer within 5 days to prevent this action from taking place.
You can contact me directly at 800-667-7704 ext 222 or directly at 604-267-1581 ext. 222
Awaiting your immediate response.
Chris Flanagan
Senior investigator
If this is indeed you though, Gina Ricobene, we’re pretty sure you can stand up to The Dimon. Unfortunately, for- err – reasons of propriety, we can’t publish your bio in full here. We let the below do the talking instead.
