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Alphaville

Jemima Kelly

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How Monzo is banking on customer apathy

For those who like subpar interest rates with their avocado on toast.

By: Jemima Kelly

Further reading

Mark Zuckerberg, “master of leverage”; yield-spread information; Surging support for Stalin; The mysterious disappearance of Fan Bingbing; and more.

By: Jemima Kelly

Binance delists Craig Wright's “Bitcoin Satoshi's Vision”

The bitcoin holy war is getting real.

By: Jemima Kelly

The quality of chart needed to raise $2m in an ICO

  1. The fall and rise of nations
  2. Why chartcrime has destroyed the blockchain
  3. Happy birthday bitcoin. Your gift: a log chart in The Times
  4. Chart crime as a measure of crypto-desperation
  5. Creative destruction concerns
  6. Wage brain
  7. Et tu, Beto?
  8. Charts and misdemeanours
  9. Deutsche Bank and the thin blue line
  10. The crypto periodic table (sigh)
  11. Wot is colour
  12. US debt is going to crush us all (and gold is the answer)
  13. Wot is gravity
  14. Pie in the sky
  15. Some help please

And then to shut up shop, with all the money gone.

By: Jemima Kelly

Whoever said fintech was really all about branding? (Update*)

  1. UK fintechs aren't eating the banks' lunch just yet
  2. What is a “Domo”?
  3. Fintech’s security/access paradox problem

Halifax wants to be down with the Monzo kids.

By: Jemima Kelly and Martin Coulter

Further reading

The internet is not real life; thanks TurboTax; Johnson & Johnson; London's money-laundering horror; and more.

By: Jemima Kelly

Blockchain for Brexit: a wonderfully terrible idea

  1. Missing: $500bn of American savings
  2. The Bank of Hodlers [sic] (sigh)
  3. Behind the curtain at China Ding Yi Feng
  4. An answer to Mark Cuban's question
  5. Crumbs! It's CRYPTO: the movie!
  6. National Beverage Corp loses its fizz, and its mind
  7. Amazon won't spin-off Amazon Web Services
  8. Mensch! Dan McCrum is innocent, ok?
  9. Europe's $1 trillion tax gap
  10. Why online propaganda mobs are an investment red flag
  11. Davos has produced an amazing new guide on precisely how not to think about risk
  12. When the public relations industry does PR for itself
  13. Who wants to be crippled by student debt?
  14. The bitcoin price is wrong
  15. The warm fuzzy feeling of Goldman debt
  16. “Cryptoassets” are crashing again. Is it time to start calling them cryptoliabilities instead?
  17. Puff the tragic cryptowagon smokes out the Mumsnet demographic
  18. Don't write off the public sector
  19. Initiative Q: an elementary pyramid scheme with grandiose ideas [Update]
  20. Moral investments aren't outperforming

But also an opportunity to show how nonsensical the technology is.

By: Jemima Kelly

Yanis Varoufakis on “radical Europeanism”, erratic Marxism and... Pamela Anderson

  1. Weak spots and worries in the global financial system
  2. The most complicated debt restructuring in history
  3. Alphachat on immigration: This time is (mostly) like the others
  4. Our Bond villain technocracy
  5. Is the eurozone fixable?
  6. Could climate change spark the next financial crisis?
  7. Mehrsa Baradaran on “opportunity zones”
  8. The math wizard who became a customer loyalty scheme guru
  9. Alphachat is back! Vol 2.
  10. Alphachat is back! Vol. 1
  11. Jim Millstein discusses the financialisation of America
  12. Alphachat is on hiatus this week
  13. Benn Steil explains the Marshall Plan
  14. Marcel Fratzscher on the dark side of the German economy — now with transcript!!
  15. Marcel Fratzscher explores the dark side of the German economy
  16. Emi Nakamura on calculating inflation
  17. Stephanie Kelton explains how the government budget affects the economy and the mechanics of student debt forgiveness
  18. Jonathan Knee explains 25 years of Wall Street’s evolution
  19. Marcus Noland explains the North Korean economy
  20. Brad Setser explains how corporate tax policy affects the balance of payments

The former Greek finance minister and economist chats to Alphaville.

By: Jemima Kelly

Further reading

Sovereign citizens; a Kinder egg on MMT; financial prey for the populists; a house and a Harvard place; and more.

By: Jemima Kelly

Elon Musk reveals his favourite cryptocurrency

  1. The Tesla Twitter war, charted
  2. Autonomy Day brings flat cash flow expectations to Tesla
  3. Tesla and Panasonic hold fire on the Gigafactory
  4. Tesla's dire deliveries
  5. Why Tesla is such a great place to work [Update]
  6. Tesla's parallel universes
  7. Tesla's number one retail investor begins to doubt himself
  8. Tesla's war against whistleblower Martin Tripp
  9. The Tesla semi-truck is ready to reserve [UPDATED]
  10. Tesla: “Surprise! You may not be fired"
  11. German watchdog slaps down Tesla's pricing practices
  12. How much does Tesla have in the bank?
  13. Tesla: 'Surprise! You're fired!'
  14. Meanwhile, just past midnight on the West Coast...
  15. Stuff Elon says, SEC compliance edition
  16. Tesla's profitability: how every little helped [Update]
  17. Stuff Elon says, (inevitable) bitcoin edition
  18. If it has to be said out loud...(Tesla edition, part deux)
  19. Finally, a Tesla Model 3 for $35,000*
  20. Stuff Elon says

And it's... Dogecoin, obvz. Elon's all about the lulz.

By: Jemima Kelly

Further reading

Lachlan Murdoch; the outlandish story of Ollies; mapping the IRS; HYPHENS! and more.

By: Jemima Kelly

Finally, a cracking use-case for bitcoin

We at Alphaville have egg all over our face.

By: Jemima Kelly

Why security tokens are categorically and absolutely not crypto tokens

  1. How a guy called Colin Platt became the richest person in the world
  2. Today in TEEIFF
  3. The UK's used car write-off conundrum
  4. GMO's Montier on the rise of the dual economy
  5. Just because it's digital doesn't mean it's green
  6. Kylie Jenner is the world's youngest 'self-made billionaire'
  7. Deliveroo announces “click and collect”
  8. What does a spike in pedestrian fatalities mean?
  9. Why wordcrime has destroyed the economy
  10. The entire economy is Fyre Festival

Pinch, punch, first of the month.

By: Jemima Kelly

The Bank of Hodlers [sic] (sigh)

  1. Missing: $500bn of American savings
  2. Blockchain for Brexit: a wonderfully terrible idea
  3. Behind the curtain at China Ding Yi Feng
  4. An answer to Mark Cuban's question
  5. Crumbs! It's CRYPTO: the movie!
  6. National Beverage Corp loses its fizz, and its mind
  7. Amazon won't spin-off Amazon Web Services
  8. Mensch! Dan McCrum is innocent, ok?
  9. Europe's $1 trillion tax gap
  10. Why online propaganda mobs are an investment red flag
  11. Davos has produced an amazing new guide on precisely how not to think about risk
  12. When the public relations industry does PR for itself
  13. Who wants to be crippled by student debt?
  14. The bitcoin price is wrong
  15. The warm fuzzy feeling of Goldman debt
  16. “Cryptoassets” are crashing again. Is it time to start calling them cryptoliabilities instead?
  17. Puff the tragic cryptowagon smokes out the Mumsnet demographic
  18. Don't write off the public sector
  19. Initiative Q: an elementary pyramid scheme with grandiose ideas [Update]
  20. Moral investments aren't outperforming

And the myth of decentralisation.

By: Jemima Kelly

Further reading

MMT hate; Stephen Moore's false claims; Airbnb's hidden camera problem; how Softbank missed out on Amazon; and more.

By: Jemima Kelly

Enron's Jeff Skilling: out of jail and on the crypto trail

Skilling is sniffing out the blockchain bros, says the WSJ.

By: Jemima Kelly

A failed ICO is trying to flog itself on eBay

  1. Crypto-shills
  2. Parliament gets it, crypto-currency bunkum edition
  3. The ICO whose team members are literally cartoon characters
  4. The London School of Cryptonomics
  5. Intel's disruption, and the problem with every token pitch
  6. Buy SEC tokens! Now!
  7. Crypto “hedge fund” update
  8. The CryptoMillionsLotto
  9. We ran away with your bitcoins!! LOL, JK
  10. About that Petro
  11. Michelle Mone brings a touch of the avant-garde to finance
  12. Conservative peer stakes her name on a crypto offering, just as the market crashes
  13. Crypto market put on notice — yet again
  14. ICO regulator anger translator
  15. Kodak makes last desperate bid for relevance with cryptocurrency
  16. Crypto cards just suffered a major setback
  17. Bank analyst very proud of his cryptocurrency mining rig
  18. Crypto startup wants to revive the non-dollar petrocurrency idea
  19. Crypto bust alert [siren]
  20. What ICO valuations tell us about the state of modern monopolies

“Seller does not accept returns”.

By: Jemima Kelly

Further reading

Video games and politics; Buttigieg, pronounced “Buddha-jidge“; Trump's ”shock" auto-tariffs; neo-Nazis and bitcoin; and more.

By: Jemima Kelly

The Russian wrestler on the run (with video!)

  1. The young men and the sea: the outtakes
  2. Alphaville gets FOOC'd
  3. Urban redevelopment, Potemkin façade edition
  4. Crypto-courting in Kaliningrad

How a former Olympian got caught up in the rush for Baltic gold in Kaliningrad.

By: Jemima Kelly

Further reading

Jared Kushner's strange acceptance into Harvard; click farms; deep, burning class rage; the risks of corporate consolidation; and more.

By: Jemima Kelly

Crumbs! It's CRYPTO: the movie!

  1. Missing: $500bn of American savings
  2. Blockchain for Brexit: a wonderfully terrible idea
  3. The Bank of Hodlers [sic] (sigh)
  4. Behind the curtain at China Ding Yi Feng
  5. An answer to Mark Cuban's question
  6. National Beverage Corp loses its fizz, and its mind
  7. Amazon won't spin-off Amazon Web Services
  8. Mensch! Dan McCrum is innocent, ok?
  9. Europe's $1 trillion tax gap
  10. Why online propaganda mobs are an investment red flag
  11. Davos has produced an amazing new guide on precisely how not to think about risk
  12. When the public relations industry does PR for itself
  13. Who wants to be crippled by student debt?
  14. The bitcoin price is wrong
  15. The warm fuzzy feeling of Goldman debt
  16. “Cryptoassets” are crashing again. Is it time to start calling them cryptoliabilities instead?
  17. Puff the tragic cryptowagon smokes out the Mumsnet demographic
  18. Don't write off the public sector
  19. Initiative Q: an elementary pyramid scheme with grandiose ideas [Update]
  20. Moral investments aren't outperforming

“FEAR. IS THE ULTIMATE. CURRENCY.”

By: Jamie Powell and Jemima Kelly

The young men and the sea: the outtakes

  1. The Russian wrestler on the run (with video!)
  2. Alphaville gets FOOC'd
  3. Urban redevelopment, Potemkin façade edition
  4. Crypto-courting in Kaliningrad

Diving, and dying, for Baltic gold in Kaliningrad.

By: Jemima Kelly

Crypto experts and the art of stating the bleeding obvious

'Indeed, cryptocurrency is considered more risky than most other assets."

By: Jemima Kelly

Blockchain start-up Setl appoints administrators as part of “growth strategy” [update]

The reality is a little bit more complicated and more of a “blip”, according to the company.

By: Jemima Kelly and Philip Stafford

Further reading

Ridesharing's profitability puzzle; big pharma needs some competition; compromise; the Great British sell-off; and more.

By: Jemima Kelly

Why chartcrime has destroyed the blockchain

  1. The quality of chart needed to raise $2m in an ICO
  2. The fall and rise of nations
  3. Happy birthday bitcoin. Your gift: a log chart in The Times
  4. Chart crime as a measure of crypto-desperation
  5. Creative destruction concerns
  6. Wage brain
  7. Et tu, Beto?
  8. Charts and misdemeanours
  9. Deutsche Bank and the thin blue line
  10. The crypto periodic table (sigh)
  11. Wot is colour
  12. US debt is going to crush us all (and gold is the answer)
  13. Wot is gravity
  14. Pie in the sky
  15. Some help please

“Forecasts are inherently limited and cannot be relied upon.”

By: Jemima Kelly

Stuff Elon says, (inevitable) bitcoin edition

  1. The Tesla Twitter war, charted
  2. Autonomy Day brings flat cash flow expectations to Tesla
  3. Tesla and Panasonic hold fire on the Gigafactory
  4. Tesla's dire deliveries
  5. Elon Musk reveals his favourite cryptocurrency
  6. Why Tesla is such a great place to work [Update]
  7. Tesla's parallel universes
  8. Tesla's number one retail investor begins to doubt himself
  9. Tesla's war against whistleblower Martin Tripp
  10. The Tesla semi-truck is ready to reserve [UPDATED]
  11. Tesla: “Surprise! You may not be fired"
  12. German watchdog slaps down Tesla's pricing practices
  13. How much does Tesla have in the bank?
  14. Tesla: 'Surprise! You're fired!'
  15. Meanwhile, just past midnight on the West Coast...
  16. Stuff Elon says, SEC compliance edition
  17. Tesla's profitability: how every little helped [Update]
  18. If it has to be said out loud...(Tesla edition, part deux)
  19. Finally, a Tesla Model 3 for $35,000*
  20. Stuff Elon says

“Paper money is going away and crypto is a far better way to transfer value.”

By: Jemima Kelly

Europe's $1 trillion tax gap

  1. Missing: $500bn of American savings
  2. Blockchain for Brexit: a wonderfully terrible idea
  3. The Bank of Hodlers [sic] (sigh)
  4. Behind the curtain at China Ding Yi Feng
  5. An answer to Mark Cuban's question
  6. Crumbs! It's CRYPTO: the movie!
  7. National Beverage Corp loses its fizz, and its mind
  8. Amazon won't spin-off Amazon Web Services
  9. Mensch! Dan McCrum is innocent, ok?
  10. Why online propaganda mobs are an investment red flag
  11. Davos has produced an amazing new guide on precisely how not to think about risk
  12. When the public relations industry does PR for itself
  13. Who wants to be crippled by student debt?
  14. The bitcoin price is wrong
  15. The warm fuzzy feeling of Goldman debt
  16. “Cryptoassets” are crashing again. Is it time to start calling them cryptoliabilities instead?
  17. Puff the tragic cryptowagon smokes out the Mumsnet demographic
  18. Don't write off the public sector
  19. Initiative Q: an elementary pyramid scheme with grandiose ideas [Update]
  20. Moral investments aren't outperforming

We've got to be talking about tax evasion, tax evasion, tax evasion.

By: Jemima Kelly

Further reading

The Grand Canyon radiation cover-up; McKinsey's secretive investment fund; Radiohead vs Guy Hands; flying through the Jet Streak; and more.

By: Jemima Kelly

JPMorgan jumps on the stablecoin bland-wagon

A new paradigm for effectuating electronic payments?

By: Jemima Kelly

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