Sunday fodder from CNBC:
What’s the secret to a long, happy and successful life? That seems to be a question we ask ourselves over and over.
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has shared his thoughts on this very topic many times — and he might just be onto something.
Yes, 12 questions to be precise. Which are, presumably, to be thought of when standing glumly in front of the mirror every morning, instead of the usual nihilistic wanderings.
So, having read through carefully, we thought it'd be fun to dust off Alphaville's Guffbot 3000 machine to see what it made of Bezos's self-help queries.
Bald-headed wrecker of retail in plain text; Alphaville interpretation in italics.
1) How will you use your gifts?
Use your gifts wisely, unless it's Amazon gift cards. Don't spend those for 10 years.
2) What choices will you make?
Which sectors will you destroy?
3) Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions?
Sunk-cost fallacy is a killer. Also, please shop for everything on Amazon Prime.
4) Will you follow dogma, or will you be original?
Question the rules, unless it's the length of breaks when working at an Amazon fulfilment center.
5) Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure?
Always choose adventure, if by adventure you mean going after $2.81bn in cash grants and tax abatements to open a new headquarters in the city where you were probably planning to open one anyway.
6) Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions?
Will you abandon a multiyear-long process under pressure from a 29-year-old congresswoman?
7) Will you bluff it out when you’re wrong, or will you apologise?
Or, will you lessen your tax burden still further, to a point that it becomes negative?
8) Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love?
What if it costs you $38bn?
9) Will you play it safe, or will you be a little bit swashbuckling?
Or will you destroy a basic tenet of capitalism by running multiple businesses at a loss to undermine established competition?
10) When it’s tough, will you give up, or will you be relentless?
When Elizabeth Warren calls for your company to be broken up, will you give up, or will you argue that the third-party merchants that you have wiped off the high street have in fact benefited from you?
11) Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder?
Guffbot 3000 does not compute.
12) Will you be clever at the expense of others, or will you be kind?
Will you write cynical takedowns for FT Alphaville, or will you let me off the hook?
Amazon learns a little about itself and America, leaves New York - FT Alphaville