Here, on FT Alphaville, in the small hours of Friday morning…
Neil Hume and Paul Murphy, having consumed the necessary stimulants, will be hosting a special edition of Markets Live, watching how prices react as the election results flow in.
Join us here at approximately 12.30am BST as the dynamic duo await the opening of the UK gilt-edged market, which will be in special session from 1am. There will also be reaction from the currency markets.
In the meantime, here’s an email doing the rounds — seemingly penned by a very senior London-based FX trader…
On Thursday, the beleaguered populace of the United Kingdom heads to the polls, impaled upon Morton’s Fork and facing Hobson’s Choice
The alternatives appear to be Mr Cameron’s Big Society, Mr Clegg’s Bigger Society, and Mr Brown’s Extremely Large Society, or an unsightly combination of two of these unpalatable propositions. The result of any such union is not likely to be especially fruitful, and should the fact that Mr Clegg was wearing an orange tie on Thursday evening be any subliminal guide to his intentions, could result in the Strange Death of Tory England, and the return of the Hobbits to their Shires – as PR will finish any prospect of the Conservative and Unionist Party pacing the corridors of power, ensuring the long term disenfranchisement of the English middle class in favour of urban and Celtic subsidy and Mr Clegg’s status as Warwick the Kingmaker
The market is consumed by paroxsyms of uncertainty around the likely consequences of the various unsavoury outcomes that may be expected to occur, so it may be worth exploring the Cable strategies that Members may wish to employ in the aftermath.
These are as follows:
– Outright Tory majority. Wait a while, and sell
– Outright Labour majority. Sell immediately, and emigrate. The Bailiwicks of Jersey and Guernsey are a possibility, with Sark offering a feudal alternative
– Tories the largest party, Lib Dems holding the balance of power. Wait a while, move to Cornwall, and then sell
– Labour the largest party, Lib Dems holding the balance of power. Move to Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland, then sell
– None of the above – sell
– In fact, all of the above – sell
My instincts all along have been to vote UKIP, if only to help Mr Farage in his efforts to unseat the Speaker, who is perfectly nauseating. However, since the above analysis suggests that only the first of the above alternatives provides for a better level to sell Cable while retaining my current domestic arrangements, I suppose I had better go for Dave, and by extension, Sam, as my wife gave my a Smythsons wallet for Christmas. Which to ensure I remain fashionable, contains no cash and lots of credit cards.
Related links:
UK general election 2010 – In depth coverage on FT.com
Westminster blog – Jim Pickard and Alex Barker
Markets Live – A guide for new readers