By Andrew Hill of Lombard.
We’re privileged to welcome to the World Economic Forum, the distinguished writer and thinker, Professor Holden Caulfield, 76-year-old president and founder of Rye Introspective LLP. Mr Caulfield has taken as his theme today “Goddam Money: It Always Ends Up Making You Blue as Hell”. Holden – the floor is yours.
“Good afternoon. If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you probably want to know is what I think about banking reform, what I’d do about the broker-dealers, whether I’d ban proprietary trading and all that Paul Volcker kind of crap. But I don’t feel like going into it if you want to know the truth.”
“Where I want to start with is the day I came here to Davos. You probably heard of it. Probably seen the publicity anyway. Can hardly avoid it. It always starts something like: “Since 1971, the Forum has been moulding men into splendid, clear-thinking world leaders.” Strictly for the birds. Clear-thinking? You have to be kidding. Place is miles from anywhere, cold as a witch’s teat and full of phonies.”
“They’re the ones grumbling about intrusive regulation, making believe how they’re all sorry or something, but then saying how ‘the devil’s in the detail’ or how the plans won’t work. Or the ones parroting what the authorities always say: “Banking is a game, boys. Banking is a game that one plays according to the rules.” Rules, my ass. The financial phonies say they love the goddam rules. But you can bet they’re already getting their hotshots to find a way round them.”
“Anyway, my point is: aren’t these the sonuvabitches who got us into the mess in the first place? If I’d just screwed the world economy, I’d get the hell out and keep my head well down. But not these guys. Oh, no. They’re here and they’re angry. All off the record, of course. Jesus Christ. Bankers. They can drive you crazy. They really can.”
(with apologies to the late, great JD Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye)