Citigroup may be having a rough time of it — $50bn in credit-related writedowns, a looming break-up and continued pressure on its capital — but hey, at least they still have enough money to give their employees a free lunch.
To wit, The Reformed Broker is running this little story today, headlined “The quessadilla that changed my mind about the bailout.”
True story… I’m at Cafe Metro on 46th and Lex grabbing some lunch on a recent weekday afternoon. The place is packed with lines of 5 or 6 deep at the salad counter, the made-to-order pasta kiosk and especially at the cash register.
In front of me is a well-dressed, middle-aged man with graying hair and glasses in a conservative navy blue suit. On the surface, there doesn’t seem to be anything extraordinary about the man, just the typical “Suit” waiting on line in midtown with a chicken quesadilla for lunch.
Little did I know that there was something incredibly special and magical about this gentleman! You see, he knows the secret password to open all doors, have all wishes granted and receive every manner of special treatment, so long as he believes he is entitled.
How do I know this? Well, when Blue Suit stepped up to the register and placed his tray in front of the cashier, rather than take out his wallet or a $20 bill or a credit card or anything that resembled the currency us mere mortals are forced to exchange for goods and services, he simply parted his lips and said the magic word:
“CITIGROUP”
I kid you not, readers, he literally uttered the word “Citigroup” and his quesadilla was packed in a bag with plastic utensils and napkins, and he was out the door. No one asked him for ID or made a note anywhere of what he was eating that day. He just said “Citigroup” and bounced. I was on line to pay behind him with my own chicken quesadilla and a bottle of Diet Pepsi…cost to me as a non-Citigroup employee: $9.85 plus tax.
The author’s beef (sorry) with this is that while non-bailed-out companies have to worry about basic things like making profits and staying afloat, Citigroup is spending taxpayer money on lunch accounts for its employees to retain the ‘talented people’ who got us into the mess in the first place.
By our reckoning, that $300bn in US government bailout money given to Citi in November could pay for over 30bn quesadilla lunches. Bargain!
But hey, for those of you in New York, why not give the Citigroup password a go and try getting back $9.85 of your own bailout money?
(HT LOLFed)
Related links:
Citigroup moves towards break-up - FT Alphaville
Why Citi’s selling - FT Alphaville
