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Sixteen of the biggest, fattest porkies

Of course there are zillions more equally juicy lies floating around out there, but we reckon Peter Tasker, a Tokyo-based analyst and occasional author, has come up with some choice specimens - and just in time for a lighthearted, two-minute Easter read:

The top 16 big, fat lies de nos jours

1. Derivatives reduce volatility

2. The BRIC economies are decoupling

3. Inflation is 2 per cent

4. Greenspan was a maestro

5. The Chinese won’t let their market fall in Olympics year

6. (Junichiro) Koizumi reformed Japan

7. The Americans are devoted to free market solutions

8. The Swiss are prudent

9. The French are brilliant derivatives traders

10. The UK is suffering a housing shortage

11. Private equity funds add value to the companies they buy

12. The cap rate for real estate should be the government bond yield

13. Alastair Darling is in charge of the situation

14. Ben Bernanke is in charge of the situation 1

5. The G8 is in charge of the situation

16. Anyone is in charge of the situation

This entry was posted by Gwen Robinson on Thursday, March 20th, 2008 at 14:25 and is filed under Capital markets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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Comments

  1. Mar 20   19:22 Posted by Fair & Biased » Blog Archive » Lies? [report]

    […] Ezra Pound said “The less we know, the longer our explanations.”  What about the inverse (Gwen Robinson, “Sixteen of the biggest, fattest porkies,” FT’s Alphaville blog, March 20, 2008)? Of course there are zillions more equally juicy lies floating around out there, but we reckon Peter Tasker, a Tokyo-based analyst and occasional author, has come up with some choice specimens - and just in time for a lighthearted, two-minute Easter read: The top 16 big, fat lies de nos jours […]

  2. Mar 20   17:14 Posted by Anonymous [report]

    Here are some alternative porkies :

    1 Gordon Brown has run the economy prudently.

    2 The credit crunch was caused by sub-prime lending in America.

    3 The credit crunch will not spread to the real economy.

    4 The banking system has been lending responsibly.

    5 The authorities have been watchful, understand the problems and will continue to take prompt, appropriate and timely action.

    6 World asset values will not fall significantly.

    7 The world banking system will be able to adjust to the reduced asset values that world debt is secured against.

    8 This is a temporary adjustment, before normality resumes.

    9 America’s position in the world will not be affected.

    10 China will co-operate to maintain the status quo so that Western profligacy can continue.

    11 Economic power, then political power and then military supremacy will remain in the West.

    12 The Western way of life is not under threat and Western capitalism, democracy and aspirations will spread throughout the Middle East, China, Russia, Africa, South America, etc.

    13 All these fundamental truths are understood by George Bush. People who think differently do not have George’s depth of understanding.

    14 The greatest philosophical truths emanate from Texas.

  3. Mar 20   17:09 Posted by Dave Heasman [report]

    Here’s another of his dicta -

    “Remember the only two investment principles that matter - what is, isn’t. What isn’t, is. Master this knowledge and no market can defeat you. Listen to the cry of the reptile deep within you. ”

    Sortof David carradine meets David Icke.

  4. Mar 20   15:57 Posted by Sixteen of the biggest fattest porkies « Sidetalk [report]

    […] http://ftalphaville.ft.com/blog/2008/03/20/11751/sixteen-of-the-biggest-fattest-porkies/ […]

  5. Mar 20   15:28 Posted by VP [report]

    Excellent. How about:

    17. You can make £100m spreading rumours on HBOS

This post is closed to further comments.