Investment bank-speak is a universal language. From maximising shareholder value to full and fair offers, bankers are well versed in the art of keeping their clients happy.
But four months into the credit crisis and their words have taken on a new meaning. Here is an explanation.
SUBPRIME
Pre-squeeze: Poor cut of beef
Post-squeeze: On the national education curriculum
COVENANT-LITE
Pre-squeeze: Please pay back the money (no rush)
Post-squeeze: Please get approval for all expenses above £50
COMPETITIVE AUCTION
Pre-squeeze: 50 buy-out firms submit first-round bids
Post-squeeze: The Malaysians are looking
EMI
Pre-squeeze: Coveted transaction
Post-squeeze: Distressed debt play
STAN O’NEAL
Pre-squeeze: $50m for successfully delivering shareholder value
Post-squeeze: $50m for destroying shareholder value
DEBT AVAILABLE FOR BUY-OUT
Pre-squeeze: $10bn
Post-squeeze: Z$300,000bn
ATTRACTIVE INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY
Pre-squeeze: Growing faster than the competition
Post-squeeze: Not falling quite as quickly as the competition
INFRASTRUCTURE
Pre-squeeze: Goldman launches billion-dollar fund
Post-squeeze: Heathrow queues get longer
MULTIPLES
Pre-squeeze: 8 x pro forma ebitda
Post-squeeze: 4 x historic earnings
DUE DILIGENCE
Pre-squeeze: There is a hole in the pension book
Post-squeeze: Due diligence to look diligent
BANK’S CHRISTMAS PARTY
Pre-squeeze: Bollinger, Château Lafite, Nobu catering
Post-squeeze: Glass of Chianti, dry roasted peanuts
PIPELINE IS FULL
Pre-squeeze: Real deals by stretched bankers
Post-squeeze: Stretched deals by virtualbankers
EMERGING MARKETS
Pre-squeeze: Risky, high-yield play
Post-squeeze: Safe haven
STRATEGIC REVIEW
Pre-squeeze: We will take the highest offer
Post-squeeze: Fire sale